What's for dinner?

Every day is a new challenge living in a household of five.  The biggest issue we face on a daily basis is dinner.  My family lives in a fast paced, busy household.  It seems everyone is going in six different directions at any given time.  I'm quite certain this is normal for most households today, but in my mom's lifetime things have never been so chaotic.  Life moves at a slow, even pace and everything is done the same almost daily.  She has a lot of time to think about what she has to do next and included in that is dinner. 

I asked Mom a couple of years ago if she would like to help out by cooking dinner.  At that time I was planning the menu, doing the shopping and she was preparing the meal.  Since then she started buying some of the food and still cooking.  The problem is that I have a very picky family and our schedules are so that it makes it difficult for all of us to be home for dinner daily.  Both hubby and I work more than 40  hours per week making it difficult to always be home and ready to eat by 6:00 PM.  Additionally, my daughter recently started a job a few evenings a week and my son goes to night school.  Needless to say, these implications don't play out well in the scheme of a nightly family dinner.

I feel guilty when I can't make it home on time or have to cancel dinner because of conflicting schedules.  I understand that she is home alone all day and this is her time to be with the family and that is the main reason for my guilt.  The other side of this is that the rest of the family would rather not eat what she cooks so many times when they are available for dinner they find other reasons to stay away.

I carry a lot of guilt when it pertains to my mother.  A better description might contain the word conflicted.  I am conflicted between trying to keep her happy, keep the peace between my family, filling my work obligations and still maintaining a life outside of all of that.  I don't believe there is a true balance for any of that.  It's simply too much.  And while those I have confinded in for advice or just as a relief to get it off my chest will say you need to stand up for yourself and put things into perspective for her, I just can't.  Just as my brother says 'it's just easier this way'.  But in reality, easier for who?

I'm certain I can't possibly be alone in this type of situation/lifestyle.  I know there are others out there caring for aging parents or even living with alcoholics, but where are you?